I’m that awkward girl at the gym

You know me as Nahla but others may know me as “That Awkward Gym Girl”.

I previously vowed that I would jump back into the gym by the 1st September 2016, to grunt and sweat my way to a happier me.

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So I did just that but the way I envisioned it going down didn’t match up to reality. To understand why, I need to give you a back story.

BACKSTORY: Mid 2014-2015
I was a regular gym-goer, with a personal trainer, a plethora of workout buddies and on a name-to-name basis with all that worked there. I was part of a “GO HARD AND SAUNA LATER” kind of clique and it felt good, especially after being that lazy obese girl, pretty much since I was 17. I was such a regular, that my presence at the gym was noticed. So, if I missed a day or two, I’d get texts asking where I was.

imageChristmas of 2015 hit and all of a sudden I kept telling myself, I’ll go gym tomorrow. I’ll workout later. I’m fine.

As 2016 progressed, the texts and calls stopped and I think everyone embraced that I wasn’t coming back for a while. I had officially slipped off the wagon. It was time to embrace cronuts, Netflix and lounging around in pj’s.

Going back after that long hiatus almost felt like that first day of school, where all the kids are familiar but they’re asking you a million and one questions. Just a whole steaming heap of uncomfortable energy.

So what do you do when you’re uncomfortable? You act like you’re busy.

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Being totally busy

Its like when you’re sitting opposite someone on the tube (subway) and you make eye contact so you have to frantically look at your phone, even though you have no signal, and stare intently at the locked home screen for new vital information.

I jumped from machine to machine. You name it. Elliptical, treadmill, step machine, bike, cable machine. Every. rack. of. weights.

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There was no routine because I was totally controlled by this nervous energy, that everyone was aware that I was back and I had just put back on all the weight pre-2014.
I failed to prepare so I prepared to fail.

[IMPORTANT NOTE: It WASN’T the weight that got me back to the gym but rather the ENERGY I lacked. When I compared myself to the time I was looking after this boh-day, I can see that my lethargy is through the roof and my enthusiasm, routine and happiness was negligible].

SO…

This means next time I stroll into the gym, I should be prepared. I will prepare my workout routine, I’ll prepare an awesome Spotify playlist (I’ll share here for anyone who wants to listen). My workout clothes will be washed and ready but most importantly, my MIND will be PREPARED. My journey is my own and it’s important to know that I should make myself comfortable with my goals.

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There is no shame in trying again.

There is no shame in failing.

You can do anything with a bag full of positive energy.

Coz Tonight Baby I Don’t Wanna Get Freakaaayyyy With You…

As you can tell by the song lyrics as the title, it’s Ify here. In today’s post, we are going to get a bit deep.
2410e21cafb872d2c4ca791c6002fa67I went out last friday night because I was feeling a bit down in the dumps and rather than curl up in bed with a bucket of chocolate and another bucket of white wine, I decided that I’d dance my troubles away instead. Normally, after I dress up and beat my face, I feel like the Queen Bee Yoncé but not that day. That was the first sign the night wasn’t going to be what I envisioned. As I sat there on the tube on the way to the club fidgiting, feeling like a big fat ball of mess, that was sign number two that night wouldn’t end well.

I went to the bar, got myself a drink and started dancing with my friends. A song came on that I really wasn’t feeling, so decided to sit that one out. The club was pretty empty at that point so I could clearly see and hear the two guys in front of me. One turned to his friend, while pointing in my direction and said “How about that girl?” To which his friend clearly (and quite loudly said) “Nahhhh bruv, not on it, SHE’S FAT!”

I have never felt so insignificant in my life. At that very moment, I felt so unworthy and my heart just sank. What made it worse was that the guy wasn’t even that attractive !!! For about 30 minutes, I just sat there feeling sorry for myself. Time had passed and it was time to go home.

My friends had decided that they wanted to get some breakfast in a 24 hr place nearby, so I decided to join them because
a-hungry-child-with-a-table-covered-with-food-feast-at-a-restaurant-bdhmhawhen am I ever not down for food. However, as I sat down, I couldn’t shake off what I heard in the club and decided to listen to my body for once and not order as I genuinely  wasn’t hungry. As soon as I made that decision, so many questions came to mind.

Can I really sit there and watch everyone else around me eat? Will it make me hungry? Will I stand out being the only one not eating? Will people think I am broke? Will I be excluded from the table banter? Will people make assumptions about me and think I am on a diet? Will people judge me?

Long story short, I wasn’t salivating at the mouth looking at other people eat, it didn’t make me hungry and I wasn’t excluded from the jokes at the table, in fact, it was the most fun I had all night. Who knew you could have fun without food being involved, aye? Wish I had found this out years ago…Anyway, I was super proud of the decision I made that night because I could have easily (and usually do) turn to food for comfort but I didn’t and I’m happy I didn’t. So if I can do it, you guys can too!

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Peace out homies!!

Utter wizardry: Serving sizes and suggestions

Why did no one inform me on this whole suggested serving size/portion malarkey?!

Hey Jigglers, it’s Nahla here.

The month of August was a tough one. Why, you ask? Well, that’s because August is that kind of month where it’s hot enough to make you think you’ll sweat out everything you’ve eaten. So, naturally, you eat everything.

Also, that perspiration concoction you’ve been producing, marinating your under boob, while sitting on the couch, warrants your excuse for bailing on yet ANOTHER workout…

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So for the month of August my progress has been working in reverse. Meaning, I’ve gotten worse, not better. My affliction with food is a psychological one. I associate bad food with positive experiences and good food with negative ones. The same goes for working out.

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So the aim is to produce positive experiences with healthy habits.

I started well by picking up foods from Sainsbury’s that is raw, will expire soon (so as fresh as anything can be in a supermarket) and colourful. All but the fishcakes that I had to have.

Anyway, the story bit. 

I plonked the two fishcakes on the tray, dashed it in the oven and prepared some steamed broccoli and soy while it was crisping away.

As I was counting down to The Fishcake Massacre, I started reading the package. Bear in mind, I eat two all the time. Serving suggestion: 1 fishcake (276 kcal).

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JOY, OH JOY! I’ve been eating a two man lunch for decades. This made me dash to my laptop to search what else I’ve been eating wrong my whole life.

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I’VE BEEN EATING 3-4 PORTIONS OF EVERYTHING, EVERY TIME!

So, I’m no longer confused as to why my weight isn’t moving and my happiness radar isn’t beeping wildly.

The goal of September is:

  1. Gym/workout/walk regularly. Sun sweat isn’t workout sweat.
  2. Be able to do 10 pushups like I could last year.
  3. Eat consciously.

 

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by my double chin and serving size suggestions.

 

 

I am walking away, from the troubles in my life…

Ify on the mic…

So, inspired by Craig David (and Nahla I guess *sigh*), I want to go back to taking long walks not just to start slowly being active again but as a genuine stress relief too.

I want to challenge myself and the best way to do that is by counting my steps. Now there’s a million and one devices out there but I decided to get a FitBit. I have had one before and loved it (don’t ask what happened to the old one but just know that it’s probably still stuck in a drainage pipe somewhere in Barcelona).

 I decided to stick to using the Zip wirless tracker because it’s small and discrete and I can clip it on easily to any part of clothes.

First it’s walking, then running, then world domination!

Let the FitBit challenges begin, I coming for you (you know who you are)!!

Peace out homies.

I can feel my heartbeat in my feet…

Nahla here.

So today I did some work at the Southbank centre with a close friend and realised I’m most productive when I’m outside, I act like a normal human being and don’t gorge a whole packet of biscuits or salivate over a box of Krispy Kreme’s (salivate over the whole box means you call dibs on all 8 doughnuts… just a neat trick).

After working, my friend and I decided to walk along the Thames and it was nice to realise I wasn’t related to Dracula and guess what guys, I actually have a heartbeat! I can even feel it in my toes!

I took a photo for you guys too. It’s like you’re all living in my pocket. You wouldn’t want to live in my pocket, it’s still Crumbsville in there.

It was pretty windy and my camera skills are wack but again… one step at a time.

The water in my hand is my way of tricking my mind I’m having something sweet at 22:29 but I’ll be honest, I’m thinking about apple crumble.

Quick recipe: 

  • Water
  • Add frozen raspberries + mangos (sorta acts like ice)
  • Squeeze of lime/lemon

Anyway jigglers, I’m off to have a bath to rest these feet of mine.

Buh-byeeee!

Measurements: I look like the Planet Saturn when I measure myself…

So true to form and following in Ify’s footsteps, I’m going to put up my jiggle measurements for the world to see. I am so scared but gotta bite the bullet at some point, right?

Arm equator: 33 cm

Thigh (human): 74 cm

Waist: 90 cm

Hip (hop): 112cm

Chest (breasts?): 106 cm

Weight (kg): 95.4 kg

Happiness percentage: 59%

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So straight after seeing those numbers, I decided to go for a run and by “run”, I totally mean walk/skip. Wore a hat as disguise, even though it accentuates the fact I have an alien shaped head. Wait, should I have measured that too?..