You know me as Nahla but others may know me as “That Awkward Gym Girl”.
I previously vowed that I would jump back into the gym by the 1st September 2016, to grunt and sweat my way to a happier me.
So I did just that but the way I envisioned it going down didn’t match up to reality. To understand why, I need to give you a back story.
BACKSTORY: Mid 2014-2015
I was a regular gym-goer, with a personal trainer, a plethora of workout buddies and on a name-to-name basis with all that worked there. I was part of a “GO HARD AND SAUNA LATER” kind of clique and it felt good, especially after being that lazy obese girl, pretty much since I was 17. I was such a regular, that my presence at the gym was noticed. So, if I missed a day or two, I’d get texts asking where I was.
Christmas of 2015 hit and all of a sudden I kept telling myself, I’ll go gym tomorrow. I’ll workout later. I’m fine.
As 2016 progressed, the texts and calls stopped and I think everyone embraced that I wasn’t coming back for a while. I had officially slipped off the wagon. It was time to embrace cronuts, Netflix and lounging around in pj’s.
Going back after that long hiatus almost felt like that first day of school, where all the kids are familiar but they’re asking you a million and one questions. Just a whole steaming heap of uncomfortable energy.
So what do you do when you’re uncomfortable? You act like you’re busy.
Its like when you’re sitting opposite someone on the tube (subway) and you make eye contact so you have to frantically look at your phone, even though you have no signal, and stare intently at the locked home screen for new vital information.
I jumped from machine to machine. You name it. Elliptical, treadmill, step machine, bike, cable machine. Every. rack. of. weights.
There was no routine because I was totally controlled by this nervous energy, that everyone was aware that I was back and I had just put back on all the weight pre-2014.
I failed to prepare so I prepared to fail.
[IMPORTANT NOTE: It WASN’T the weight that got me back to the gym but rather the ENERGY I lacked. When I compared myself to the time I was looking after this boh-day, I can see that my lethargy is through the roof and my enthusiasm, routine and happiness was negligible].
This means next time I stroll into the gym, I should be prepared. I will prepare my workout routine, I’ll prepare an awesome Spotify playlist (I’ll share here for anyone who wants to listen). My workout clothes will be washed and ready but most importantly, my MIND will be PREPARED. My journey is my own and it’s important to know that I should make myself comfortable with my goals.
There is no shame in trying again.
There is no shame in failing.
You can do anything with a bag full of positive energy.